......or REACH OUT....


To quote our founder, Lady Virginia: 
"A Lady will always do the right thing for the right reason.  Don't do it for gratitude or appreciation.  Learn to be sufficiently satisfied in doing the right thing and you will never be disappointed. Waiting for gratitude can be a huge waste of valuable time."


Let's make public speaking a fun part of reaching out to others......

October 1
A lady has a responsibility to reach out to others.  Why you ask?  Well, her talents and knowledge is only of value if and when it is shared with others. 
October 2
Keeping such treasures to oneself is wholly unsatisfying.  Once again, you ask why? A basic quality of a lady is to be unselfish.  If she hasn’t achieved that level of maturity, then she isn’t a lady…yet.

October 3
We have stated in earlier articles, that a lady must budget (balance) her time, resources and talents.  It is also unladylike to allow oneself to be exploited. 
October 4
Also, from earlier articles you have learned the importance of being able to say “no” when it is appropriate.

October 5
Otherwise, you will quickly become over committed.  It might surprise you once you get the hang of it just what fun you are having.  Exercise caution, though, because you can easily become overwhelmed with helping others.  You  always need a little time for yourself too. 

October 6
Now, we are prepared to carve out a niche and to identify just the right places to put our efforts. 
October 6
This may be one case where a lady can be slightly selfish as the decision can be based on something we feel strongly about even to the extent that we or our loved ones may benefit from our efforts.  For example, if we have children we may devote our outreach to efforts that benefit children; not just our children but other children as well. 
October 7
Perhaps we see our parents as having needs or we realize that we will have some of those same social needs in the future. There is nothing at all wrong with concentrating on efforts that benefit seniors. 

October 8
Obviously, contributing to your church is an important part of your life.   Once again, try to achieve a balance between time and money.  As difficult as it is to write a check it is far more difficult to give of our time.  However, that is part of giving.  Money is important to charities including the church but the personal touch often  goes so much further. 
October 9
You will be amazed at the satisfaction you get out of giving your time rather than writing an impersonal check and leaving it to others to touch someone else. 
October 10
So far, all of this has been a part of reaching out to others.  Sometimes, that is done with acts and deeds, but sometimes it is a matter of communication.  Pick up the phone and call someone. 
October 11
Phone etiquette dictates that if you make the call you can decide when to end the call!  That is one good reason not to wait for the other person to call!

October 12
What about sending an email?  Yes, that is just fine and a very efficient method of communication today. We have discussed written communication earlier.  This month we are concentrating on  oral or verbal communications. Let’s explore some of the factors that make it work….and make it fun.

October 13
All verbal communications requires work.  That is work in the form of listening and caring enough to think about the other person (or audience).  Otherwise, it is a lecture.  Delivering a message of your own choosing might be very satisfying but terribly one sided. 

October 14
Communications that involves someone other than just you can be so very much more satisfying.  There are times, of course, when you might benefit talking to yourself.  
October 15 
To start your new approach to public speaking and enjoying it you must first visualize your audience. You rarely have the opportunity to select your audience and generally your topic, time frame and place on the program is determined by someone else but you do have an amazing amount of flexibility even so.  We will go through the next several steps to show you how to build your presentation.   
October 16
What does your audience want to learn from you?
October 17 What do you want to convey to your audience? 
October 18
At this point, you may want to consult with the program scheduler or host to get their input.  During this conversation, you can shape your ideas as well as theirs.  For example, if they say their topic for you is gardening, you might ask if you could focus on container gardening?  Also, you might ask to be moved from the spot just after the discussion on rodent and pest control to the slot after the topic on photographing nature or building a patio.
October 19
Now, you see you are more in charge of your fate.  Your topic is positioned in a favorable spot and you will be speaking about something that you are comfortable with and and can get excited about. 
October 20
One other point about what you have just done.  You see you have not limited your task to something specific and focused, "container gardening".  The infinite topic "Gardening" would be very difficult to cover in a speech. 
October 21
However, let's say you are told that the programs are already printed and you must stay with the topic "Gardening".  It can be done.  This comes under the category of  technique rather than "tips".  We will elaborate on another page.
October 22
You now know your topic, time and place on the agenda.  You have visualized your audience and gotten more feed back from the program organizers.  It is now time to focus attention on what you want your audience to get from your presentation.  Though subtle, this is actually different from what you would like to tell your audience.  Think about that for a moment and we will discuss it more tomorrow. 
October 23 
There may be a great deal you would like to tell your audience but:  is it on topic, will they remember it, can it be effectively conveyed verbally and can you fit it into the time and context of the agenda?  More tomorrow.
October 24 
Having answered the questions from yesterday, you can now shape your presentation.  Though you can use "what you want to tell them" as a starting point  you must focus on what you can do based on the answers to the questions.  Once again, ponder until tomorrow. 
October 25
This is the point where you begin to eliminate distracting features from your presentation.  Once again, apply the questions from October 23.  Continue to apply those to each thought and delete those things that don't fit. 
October 26
Now, begin to practice your presentation.  This is the key to a fine presentation.  Practice, practice and practice.  Do it in front of the mirror, do it in front of your pets, your family and any other captive audience.  That may be a philodendron but it's better than nothing. 
October 27
Avoid walking to the podium with a speech that no one has ever heard before you open your mouth at the event.  You won't get the desired result. 
October 28
This is different from speaking extemporaneously.  You can learn that technique too, but that is going to take some additional work. However, you will be building on the approach you have used to prepare your speech you just must do it in the few seconds before you open your mouth.  
October 29 
The day has arrived and you are ready.  Using the tips you have learned from this site you have selected appropriate but comfortable attire and because you know yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you have all the confidence you need to do an excellent job and ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE OF PUBLIC SPEAKING!  We promise.  
October 30
Each time you do it, you will get better and more relaxed. 
October 31
Always, listen to the other speakers before you.  They may say something that you can use to amplify your message.  However, you must also be prepared to modify your remarks in light of what has been said before because there could be a conflict or misunderstanding.  (Our Lady Virginia has a very amusing story to illustrate how this can happen but we will have to put that on another page as it is too long to insert here without distracting from the topic.) Occasionally if the topics are similar, what you were going to say has already been said.  Don't panic, use this as an opportunity to insert something that you had deleted because you didn't have time to include it!  You'll do fine and get better with practice. You will also find that this makes you a highly polished and successful public speaker.  You will be asked asked to speak again.  Since you have now learned to enjoy the experience, being asked again will be great.